Counting My Blessings

So I should probably be going to bed...but it's hard to sleep when you have to much on your mind. I can't believe that I'm going to be 23 in nine days! It always makes me laugh when I think about my siblings being this age and wanting to be as old as them so badly. I guess it was because it looked like they did all of these fun things and were independent...now I kind of feel the opposite. It isn't actually that "cool" to be older. There are all of these responsibilities and duties and just boring stuff in general. Isn't it funny how we always want to be something else until we actually are? You can look at people and think "gosh they sure are lucky, they must be rich" or "wow must be nice", but chances are if you were to actually step in their shoes you would change your mind. Sometimes I don't feel like I am as grateful as I should be for my own life. I try hard to remind myself to count my blessings, but on days when I'm tired or completely stressed out I find it difficult. 

There are moments when I just feel like I'm at the bottom of the totem pole...lower than low with no where to go. But in those moments if I can catch myself I can step back and take a look at the big picture, about the things that really matter, and that feeling of failure begins to fade. The one thing that I always count on is my family. I can't say enough how blessed I am to have such an amazing family, to have their examples and their support in everything I do. 

It seems like when life gets the hardest, I miss my Mom more than ever. I start to wonder what it would be like to still have her right here, to still be able to learn from her and share experiences with her. I catch myself when I get to all of the "what-if's" because I've pretty much gone over everyone and I know that it doesn't help me or change the way things are. The one thing that I can focus on is the fact that I did have her here, even if it did feel like it was a short time. I did get to learn from her and make memories with her, and I am thankful for that. Life is never easy, but Heavenly Father never said that it would be...he only said that it would be worth it. I look forward to seeing my Mommy again someday soon, learning from her again, and making new memories. I miss her so much it hurts, but I know that she misses me too.

I am going to work on being more grateful for the things that I have, even the little things that don't seem significant that we tend to brush off in our every day lives. No more seeing the glass half empty when it's really half full. :)

Whatever Comes To Mind...

We should live each day one second at a time,

Never stopping to contemplate reason or rhyme.

There is no need to think about what we have left behind,

We should only concentrate on what there is left for us to find.

A state of happiness is not something that we earn,

The only way it can be achieved is through the things that we learn.

Don't limit yourself to a restrictive script,

Always be open to the unknown,

And do not be afraid to slip.

Mistakes can be seen has a gift that have the potential to make you wise,

Sometimes to find your truth you first have to experience the lies.

The Story of My Life

People are so interesting....like really interesting. They have SO many stories, they come from so many different walks of life and each one is completely one-hundred percent unique. This is why I have always enjoyed working with the general public. It gives me the perfect opportunity to feed my interest through meeting and getting to know people on a daily basis. It's always been said that first impressions are most important, and I really believe that to be true. It's amazing how much of an impact attitude can have in a situation where two people who know nothing about one another make a connection. I've learned that the best approach to getting to know (or meeting) someone is to be personable. 

It is possible that my understanding of the word "personable" is different than most, but I believe that it could be defined as a form of  honesty. When I introduce myself to someone, I'm showing them who I am. I give a little preview by the way I talk, the way I act, and even the way I look at them. It's important that they feel accepted, and that they understand that I am being genuine and I appreciate them for the individual that they are. Of course, at this point I don't really know anything about them, but would it be wrong for me to assume that they are doing the best they can? I don't think so. I feel like a lot of the time when we meet new people we guard ourselves, we show no form of interest, or we make assumptions according to other situations involving similar people. It's probably not something that anyone does on purpose, but it is an action that can quickly become familiar and habitual. 

One of my favorite quotes is:

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

You really never know what is going on in others' lives...and you won't know if you don't care enough to ask. There are times when the things you hear might surprise you, amaze you, impress you, inspire you, motivate you, humble you, or even confuse you. :) My philosophy is that everyone deserves a chance to share their story. Whether it's just a snapshot of their life, or the whole darn scrapbook, it's worth listening to in my mind.

I'm sure everyone is different, but I've come to know myself as a "people" person. I really do want to hear the stories, the backgrounds, and the history of people that I might not even know. I love hearing about where people have lived and how they were raised, and I love being able to relate (or not relate) to their experiences. Another reason that I have such an appreciation for people (and their lives) is that I find it exciting that I am living my own story. :) In fact, my story is already pretty well written, and I continue to uncover the mysterious chapters each and every day. I can only hope that someday I will be able to share my experiences in ways that will positively influence the lives of the people I know, and the strangers that I meet.

If you can shape it in your mind, you will find it in your life...

So today I decided to start a blog! Completely random I know, but it just seems like everyone is doing it these days so I figured I should jump on the bandwagon! :) Just kidding...actually the reason a blog finally became appealing to me is because it's another way to write out my feelings, my thoughts and my aspirations. I find it really helpful to get everything written (or typed) out and in front of me. I'm not going to go into some lengthy story with meaningless details about myself because anyone who is reading this should already know me well enough. I'll just jump right into my thoughts....

Lately I've been doing quite a bit of thinking...mostly about things I probably know nothing about! My mind seems to jump from one subject to another without any warning at all. I've come to a little realization that I have become so wrapped up in working that I have been drifting away from some of my really amazing friends. It hurts me to admit it, but it is true. Now that I've noticed, it's definitely going to change. 

It's funny how talking with people can trigger different ideas or emotions, even when it has no relation to the subject being discussed. I've always been good at staying in touch with people as I move around, but this time was different. I realized that I was expecting specific reactions (or actions) from people when I should have just been doing my part. I really believe it's true that if you can love someone all the time, whether they "deserve" it or not, it will make you happier than ever. I think sometimes we get caught up or stuck on the idea that in any type of relationship we earn things from each other...I'm not sure if that makes sense but it's kind of hard to put into words. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is...if you go into it feeling like they owe you something or they should treat you a certain way, it's not going to end up the way you imagine it will. Although we've all heard it before I wonder if  "loving unconditionally" is one of the hardest lessons we learn here on Earth. Being kind to others makes people happy, in general, right? So I'm making this goal for myself...whether I've had a hard day or am feeling a little weak...I'm going to concentrate on doing kind things for others, or lightening their loads in any way that I can. Here goes!